The Parent As Evangelist
As a Christian parent, there is no doubt that your highest priority, greatest goal, and most urgent passion for your children is that they would come to know Jesus as their Savior. Nothing in life parallels the glory of the Gospel in providing regeneration of the heart, forgiveness of sin, imputation of Christ’s righteousness, justification before God, adoption into God’s family, indwelling of the Spirit, sanctification unto holiness, glorification in heaven, and eternal fellowship with the saints and the Savior. Undoubtedly, to be reconciled to God is your heart’s desire for your family.
And as we consider the relationship between parents and pastors, that pursuit is—or should be—the principal aim of leaders in the church as well. Christ’s love should compel pastors to be ministers of reconciliation (cf. 2 Cor. 5:11-15). Not only that, but in a practical sense, any effort to disciple churchmen will necessarily be unsuccessful unless those churchmen have been genuinely saved. It’s no wonder then, that prior to his death, the Apostle Paul reminded Timothy that his role as a pastor couldn’t be restricted solely to faithful believers. Rather, Timothy needed to remain driven to reach the lost as well:
“But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry” (2 Tim. 4:5, emphasis mine).
And of course, that evangelistic element wasn’t confined only to those outside of the church assembly. Certainly, as Timothy went about his daily life, it would be important to press the claims of Christ upon those he would encounter. But he also needed to recognize that there would be evangelistic ministry necessary within the weekly gathering of the local church. It would be naive for him to assume that everyone sitting under his preaching was genuinely converted. That principle continues for pastors today. They are to do the work of an evangelist not only outside of the church assembly, but within it. In other words, pastors are commanded by God not only to be expositors, but evangelistic expositors.
With that in mind, parents must also do the work of an evangelist within their own homes. It probably goes without saying, but it would be naive to assume that everyone within the walls of your home is genuinely converted. Your son may be catechized and baptized, he may have memorized entire chapters of the Bible, he may attend a Christian school or be homeschooled, he may be the hardest worker at his part-time job, and his manners may put Victorian-era etiquette to shame, but the bottom line is that unless he has been born again, he is still on the broad road that leads to destruction. Don’t confuse morality or maturity with conversion. Godly parents are to labor as evangelists in the home, presenting the multifaceted aspects of the Gospel to their children frequently (cf. Psa. 78:4, Eph. 6:4, 2 Tim. 3:14-15).
Evangelistic Error
Unfortunately, modern examples of biblical evangelism in the pulpit—which parents should be able to model (cf. Heb. 13:7)—aren’t always what they should be. Contemporary evangelistic ministry is far too often sloppy, sentimental, shallow, and quite frankly, sophomoric.
In his book, The Gospel’s Power and Message, missionary Paul Washer explains:
“One of the greatest crimes committed by this present Christian generation is its neglect of the gospel, and it is from this neglect that all our other maladies spring forth. The lost world is not so much gospel hardened as it is gospel ignorant because many of those who proclaim the gospel are also ignorant of its most basic truths. The essential themes that make up the very core of the gospel—the justice of God, the radical depravity of man, the blood atonement, the nature of true conversion, and the biblical basis of assurance—are absent from too many pulpits. Churches reduce the gospel message to a few creedal statements, teach that conversion is a mere human decision, and pronounce assurance of salvation over anyone who prays the sinner’s prayer.”[1]
You know the routine: a traveling evangelist preaches a trite “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life” message, the church pianist plays “Just As I Am” repeatedly for 15 minutes, and the preacher calls everyone to bow their heads and raise their hands if they want to “Say Yes to Jesus.” The evangelist then welcomes them into the family of God, tallies his alleged conversion rate, and goes home self-satisfied in what he sees as the handiwork of God.
At these events, the biblical Gospel is truncated: there is little explanation of the radical depravity of man, the glory of substitutionary atonement, the nature and source of righteousness, the doctrine of justification, the reality of hell, and the hope of eternal life. Often, the resurrection itself—which is a vital aspect (cf. 1 Cor. 15:3-19)—isn’t even mentioned.
The biblical response to the Gospel is also mangled. Rather than telling men to repent of (turn from) their sins and trust (receive and rest in) Jesus Christ, foreign substitutes are issued: “Ask Jesus into your heart.” “Try Jesus today.” “Repeat this prayer or just squeeze my hand if you agree.” “Fill out this decision card.” “Make Jesus your Lord and Savior.”
The biblical costs of following Christ are almost never mentioned in relationship to the Gospel, despite the fact that Jesus explicitly stated otherwise: “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his own father, mother, wife, children, brothers, sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost, to see if he has enough to complete it?” (Luke 14:26-28). Instead, life enhancement (Jesus will heal your marriage, fix your finances, and so on) is advertised as the effect of the Gospel.
Finally, no one dares to call for the examination of biblical fruit to determine whether or not someone is truly saved. The contrast between true and false conversion, according to the Apostle John’s first epistle (cf. 1 John 5:13) has no place in this easy-believism paradigm. Do professing believers ever get baptized, join a local church, exhibit the fruit of the Spirit, and grow in their knowledge and practice of the Word? If not, as long as they “asked Jesus into their heart” years ago, they’re just considered “carnal Christians,” and no further questions are asked.
Taken together, these four elements of the modern evangelistic cocktail are spiritually disastrous.
But what specifically happens when evangelism follows this unbiblical pattern? Paul Washer identifies four outcomes, and as we consider each of them, we would do well to consider the dangers in our own ministry at home. By examining the effects of errant Gospel ministry in the church, we can avoid them on the couch.
Hardening the Unconverted
One of the effects of unbiblical evangelism, according to Washer, is that it further hardens the hearts of the unconverted:
“Few modern-day ‘converts’ ever make their way into the fellowship of the church, and those who do often fall away or have lives marked by habitual carnality. Untold millions walk our streets and sit in our pews unchanged by the true gospel of Jesus Christ, and yet they are convinced of their salvation because one time in their life they raised a hand at an evangelistic campaign or repeated a prayer. This false sense of security creates a great barrier that often insulates such individuals from ever hearing the true gospel.”[2]
It should go without saying, but just because your child raises his hand, repeats a prayer, or writes his name and date down in his Bible, doesn’t mean that salvation has truly occurred in his life. If your son is not genuinely converted, that date he wrote down in his Bible only commemorates when he started pretending. And in fact, just like adults, to pronounce a child saved on the basis of a one-time, superficial response to the Gospel is to harden his or her heart to any future responses that might otherwise be genuine. In Mark 2:17, Jesus said, “It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick. I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” On that basis, the worst thing that could happen would be for your child to think Jesus has made him well if, in reality, his sickness remains.
This is not to say that if your young child professes love for Christ that you should immediately be suspicious or express skepticism. On the contrary, any positive reaction to the Gospel is a cause for celebration and encouragement in your home. But a one-time response—especially without any noticeable fruit of repentance—cannot be the basis of assurance that your children are saved. If they grow up to be worldly teenagers, the last thing you would ever want to do is tell them they are Christians and just need to start acting like it since they walked an aisle years ago at a Vacation Bible School. That kind of counsel will serve only to inoculate them from the kind of self-examination that might otherwise lead to their true conversion. Genuine love for your children demands that you help their hearts remain sensitive to their urgent need of forgiveness and righteousness.
Deforming the Church
Washer goes on to explain that when biblical evangelism is warped, it turns the local church into a gathering of unconverted men who claim to know God but clearly deny Him by their lifestyles:
“With the preaching of the true gospel, men come to the church without gospel entertainment, special activities, or the promise of benefits beyond those offered by the gospel. Those who come do so because they desire Christ and are hungry for biblical truth, heartfelt worship, and opportunities for service. When the church proclaims a lesser gospel, it fills up with carnal men who share little interest in the things of God, and the maintenance of such men is a heavy burden upon the church. The church then tones down the radical demands of the gospel to a convenient morality, and true devotion to Christ gives way to activities designed to meet the felt needs of its members. The church becomes activity-driven rather than Christ-centered, and it carefully filters or repackages the truth so as not to offend the carnal majority. The church lays aside the great truths of Scripture and orthodox Christianity, and pragmatism (i.e., whatever keeps the church going and growing) becomes the rule of the day.”[3]
It’s been well said that “what you win them with is what you win them to.” So as you assess your child’s spiritual condition, ask yourself questions like, “Does my child love the Lord and His people because of the blessings of the Gospel, or is their positive response to Christianity based on the youth group’s pizza parties?” “Do they desire attending the church worship service at all costs, or only insofar as it doesn’t inconvenience their travel sports schedule?” “Is their interest in Christianity tied to the comforts of an industrialized nation—if the massive building, air-conditioned interior, exquisite coffee bar, and arena-quality sound system disappeared tomorrow, would preaching, prayer, communion, and fellowship be enough for them to joyfully and eagerly return every Sunday?”
Beyond superficial obstacles to the faith (like entertainment and sports), we need to be honest and upfront with our children about the serious matter of persecution. We often wrongly believe that if we set forth the radical demands of the Gospel, including the warning that “all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted” (2 Tim. 3:12), our children will be scared away from Christ. In reality, it’s just the opposite: as you teach your kids the Bible verse by verse, the bold examples of Spirit-empowered courage from men like the Apostle Paul will bolster their conviction that the Gospel is so glorious that it’s worth dying for.
Not only that, but when they do come to believe the Gospel, they’ll know exactly what they’re getting into: they’ll be hated by the world, but loved by the Lord; ostracized by men, but reconciled to God; life will be harder, but eternity will be better. Whatever the case may be, we ought never to tone down the offensive and sober aspects of the Christian life, which would do nothing but present a lopsided message to our children more reminiscent of a contract with fine print at the bottom than the glorious Gospel of God. And if they don’t know what they’re getting into, their outward affinity for godliness may be just a moralistic phase in life—and a phase that will fall away quickly during their freshman year of college. Don’t deform their view of Christianity by soft-peddling what the life of a disciple entails.
Repackaging the Gospel
Thirdly, Washer explains that unbiblical evangelism reduces the Gospel to a man-centered endeavor based on clever marketing strategies as opposed to biblical principles:
“After years of witnessing the impotence of an unbiblical gospel, many evangelicals seem convinced that the gospel will not work and that man has somehow become too complex a being to be saved and transformed by such a simple and scandalous message. There is no more emphasis on understanding our fallen culture and its fads than on understanding and proclaiming the only message that has the power to save it. As a result, the gospel is constantly being repackaged to fit what contemporary culture deems most relevant. We have forgotten that the true gospel is always relevant to every culture because it is God’s eternal word to every man.”[4]
What happens when a sub-par Gospel is preached? When the fullness of the Gospel’s glory is downplayed? It lacks the transforming power of conversion and sanctification in the life of the hearer. This, of course, isn’t to say that the the Gospel is like an incantation that conjures up a magical moment if stated with just the right words, but it is to say that a superficial Gospel message only addresses a person superficially. Then, when that superficial message elicits only superficial results, the temptation is to assume that there’s a flaw in the Gospel—rather than a flaw in the one who delivered it wrongly. The end result? Churches wrongly conclude that they need to modify the message or the method to better meet the needs of the hearer: “Maybe we shouldn’t speak of that sexual sin.” “Maybe we shouldn’t call out that false religion.” “Maybe we should mention faith in Christ, but not repentance from sin.” “Perhaps we should re-word that hymn to talk about the love of God rather than the wrath of God.” “Since preaching is out of fashion, maybe we should have more ‘discussions’ and ‘conversations’ instead.” “Let’s put away the wooden pulpit and replace it with a more relatable bar stool.” Seeker-sensitive pastors regularly operate this way. And it’s an utterly wrong-headed way of thinking.
The better solution is, first of all, to double-down on a strong Gospel message. A message that addresses specific sin (including those that are culturally offensive!). A message that declares the moral degeneracy and spiritual rebellion of the natural man. A message that speaks of a bloody, Son-crushing atonement on the cross as a substitute for sinners. A message that warns of the terror of eternal, conscious torment that awaits all who fall into the hands of a living God. A message that announces that God commands all men everywhere to repent. Certainly, we must speak lovingly and graciously to the lost (especially our children!). But we must also speak soberly to them.
Secondly, it must be remembered that the Gospel is the power of God. He will save His elect people in His own timing. He will cause men to be born again when He so chooses. He will cause the growth of the Gospel by using the planting and watering of faithful preachers. He will grant saving faith when and where He decides. No amount of cajoling the lost can modify the divine time frame of their conversion. No amount of tinkering with the Gospel will rewrite God’s redemptive calendar.
So what’s this mean in the home? In the case of your family, a similar temptation may be to adapt your approach to reaching your children when you don’t see immediate results. Perhaps you’re flustered because you’ve been talking about Jesus for years, and yet your child continues staring at you like a deer in the headlights when it comes to spiritual matters. Maybe several of your kids are saved, but there’s one that seems to just not “get it.” It could be that your twelve-year-old was outwardly trending in the right direction, but age thirteen brought about an unexpected change in her demeanor.
A dangerous temptation in these instances is to assume that the Word of God has failed, and something more, or different, is needed to reach that stubborn heart. “Maybe I need to be more of a ‘friend’ to my kids than an authority figure.” “Maybe we need to relax the standards of godliness for our home so as not to come across as legalistic.” “Maybe if I don’t talk about the lake of fire as much, my kids will respond better to Jesus.” “Maybe I should let them decide to attend church when they feel they’re ready.”
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
Don’t turn your home into a seeker-sensitive megachurch just because you think your child’s situation is too spiritually complex. Preach a faithful Gospel message, and pray to the One who can use it to do amazing things in the lives of your kids.
Reproaching the Name of God
Washer’s final warning has to do, quite simply, with the glory of God:
“Through the proclamation of a lesser gospel, the carnal and unconverted come into the fellowship of the church, and through the almost total neglect of biblical church discipline, they are allowed to stay without correction or reproof. This soils the purity and reputation of the church and blasphemes the name of God among the unbelieving. In the end, God is not glorified, the church is not edified, the unconverted church member is not saved, and the church has little or no witness to the unbelieving world.”[5]
Pastors who resort to sub-standard evangelistic tactics will give an account to God, and the number of decision cards that were filled out, the number of aisles that were walked, and the number of hands that were raised will be worthless in their evaluation. Since God is the one who saves sinners, the statistical results of their fleshly methods will be wholly irrelevant. After all, the prophet Jeremiah was disparaged when he proclaimed Judah’s imminent exile to Babylon (cf. Jer. 20:7). Hezekiah’s messengers were ridiculed when they invited their fellow Israelites to celebrate Passover (cf. 2 Chron. 30:10). The Apostle Paul was mocked by pagans in Athens when he preached the resurrection of Christ (cf. Acts 17:32). It mattered not to these men, because the glory of God was of greater important to them than the applause of crowds. Reaching others demanded faithfulness to the message.
On the other hand, when the message is mangled, it obscures the life-changing, hope-giving nature of God’s Word. It becomes white noise among every other worldview and ideology. The world has no interest in an ancient story with no transformative power. And can we blame them? It’s particularly repulsive to the unbelieving world when the church is littered with false converts who hypocritically claim a moral high ground they don’t actually possess. When those who claim to be sons of God live like sons of the devil, God’s name is blasphemed among the lost (cf. Rom. 2:24).
Whether or not your children ever become saved, the glory of God must be the litmus test of your ministry in the home. You will not stand before God to give an account for whether or not you have Christian children; you will give an account for whether or not you lived faithfully as a Christian parent. Were you committed to preaching the Gospel at home? Did you model its implications in the sight of your ever-watching children? Did you adorn it with love, good works, and holy living?
Be a Wise Master Builder
The Apostle Paul, who devoted his entire Christian life to evangelistic ministry, said, “According to the grace of God which was given to me, like a wise master builder I laid a foundation, and another is building on it. But each person must be careful how he builds on it” (1 Cor. 3:10).
It would have been wrong for him to lay the foundation in any way he chose. Thus, he was a “wise master builder.” Fidelity to the Gospel, and the biblical methods of evangelism, were paramount for him. And it wouldn’t be enough for others to build upon that foundation according to their own self-styled ways, either. Those who came after him were accountable to be wise master builders as well.
By implication, this means that you also need to “be careful” how you build.
But how?
The solution is the same as it always is: “preach the Word” (2 Tim. 4:2). There’s no need for a separate “evangelism time” in your home in which you give a generic Gospel message and call your kids to respond. Instead, let your everyday Bible time at home be known for “Christ and Him crucified” (1 Cor. 2:2). When teaching through Genesis, tell your kids about the Seed of the woman who crushes the serpent’s head, and the Seed of Abraham who brings blessings to all nations. When you’re in Exodus, tell your kids about the One who has been sacrificed once for all as a greater Passover lamb. While working through Leviticus, explain to your kids that we have a great high priest in heaven through whom we can boldly approach God. In teaching through Numbers, tell your children about the true manna from heaven that gives life to the world. As you explain Deuteronomy, remind your kids that the curse for not obeying all the words of the Law has been taken by One who was hung on a tree. No matter which portion of Scripture you are walking them through, be an evangelistic expositor for your family.
Rather than trying to concoct your own evangelistic techniques—which are likely to stray from biblical patterns—the preeminent way to safeguard your evangelistic ministry in the home is to teach verse by verse and explain the Gospel according to the ways Scripture explains it. Declare to your kids what the Bible declares. Promise your children what the Bible promises. Warn your children about what the Bible warns. Instruct your children to respond in the ways the Bible instructs. Comfort your kids in the ways the Bible comforts. Present to your children the costs of discipleship that the Bible presents. Examine your kids in the manner the Bible examines. Assure them based on that which the Bible assures them.
The Apostle Paul was a wise master builder on the foreign mission field. May it be so for you, as well, on the domestic mission field.
References:
[1] Paul Washer, The Gospel's Power and Message (Grand Rapids, MI: Reformation Heritage Books, 2012), vii-ix.
[2] Ibid., ix.
[3] Ibid., ix.
[4] Ibid., ix-x.
[5] Ibid., x.