When You Became a Mother, You Were Given a Ministry
We all long to be useful, to be helpful, and to change the world. Each of us has some tug at our hearts to reach out to the world and to be a light in the darkness. God made us this way. He has commanded us to spread the gospel, minister to widows and orphans, feed the hungry, visit the prisoners, and care for the sick.
And as parents, He has given us a built-in ministry: raising godly children. The day we hold our first baby, our ministry begins.
Parenthood is more than feeding, clothing, and entertaining little boys and girls. It feels like that is the majority of what we do, but the ministry starts there. It’s in the words we say, the hugs we give, the boundaries we set, and a thousand other things we do.
Hearts for God
There is no greater goal or priority as a mother than to shepherd our children in the Christian faith. I look with such sadness on Christians who put so much emphasis on athletic ability, academics, and future careers, but training their children in the scriptures takes a back seat, or worse. Eternity is long, and it should be always in our thoughts.
But the present day is also extremely important. Teaching our children, just as instructed in Deuteronomy 6, all of the attributes and laws of God is a blessing for them. Showing them that God’s ways are higher than ours and that His ways are perfect—this is the prescription for setting them up for a lifetime of blessing.
A Generational Vision
It is hard for us to see into the future, so it’s hard to think about the profound influence we have on our children’s entire lives. But it’s not only our children; it’s their children, too. What we do right now, today, is going to impact multiple generations. The question is: what will that impact be?
I encourage you moms to sit down and imagine (or even sketch) a possible family tree, starting with you. How many children do you have, or will you have? Now do some grandchildren math. And then do the great-grandchildren math. And think about the hearts and minds of all of those descendants.
Your influence can be profound, affecting generations. Generations! This illustrates just how important our role as mothers is right now. What we do, with the children given to us, is not just about these children. It’s about their hearts, minds, and souls, and this, in turn, will be about their children’s hearts, minds, and souls. We have the power, in simple motherhood, to change our family tree.
Mothers, this is your first and most important ministry. You cannot be replaced, and the work you do in your own home is more important than the opportunities available outside the home. Childhood is short, and the necessity of the ministry poured into it cannot be overstated.
Sally Clarkson says, “Though cultural storms attack violently each day, a solid Christian home can be a protective fortress, a have of peace for all who live there. Those inside its walls are protected, nurtured, and nourished in body, heart, mind, and soul. Such homes need a director, guardian, and caretaker, which is what God had in mind when He designed the role of mother. Homes that are being established and protected by the mothers who have a clear vision of their God-designed role can bring refuge and life and hope to a generation of children who need to grow strong in order to be able to battle the storms they will one day face.” (The Mission of Motherhood)
Don’t Sacrifice the Better for the Good
I must insert a warning here to those who feel God has called them to a ministry away from their children. I do not believe God does this. Your children are yours to raise, and that privilege belongs to no one else.
Often we see moms who are so intent on ministry that they begin growing an organization or devoting hours and hours away from their home. Over the years, no matter how amazing the ministry is, the family at home suffers. I have seen divorces and rebellious children as the result of these “super-women.” Ladies, I beg you not to sacrifice your family for the “greater good.” It is a feminist lie that comes from Satan.
Home-based Ministry
Naturally, we want to do more. God calls us to love and serve our neighbor. What can a mother do for the outside world while she is raising children at home? It’s nearly impossible to put a family first while overseeing a part-time or full-time ministry. But there are numerous ways to minister to the world without sacrificing our ministry to our children. And the bonus is that often your children can participate, training them to be ministers at home as well.
Meals to families in need: Mothers with a newborn, sick friends, or a family experiencing loss or tragedy all have one thing in common: they need to eat. Home-cooked meals are such a simple way to provide for others. Even better, start a meal train and get a whole group involved! Cooking for a family can be as simple as doubling your dinner recipe or as involved as setting aside a day to make several dishes for the freezer.
Involve your children in the process by letting them help you in the kitchen, praying for the family, making cards, and delivering the meals (as appropriate). Be sure to round out the meal with extra conveniences like paper plates and plastic utensils, disposable pans that they don’t have to return, and perhaps breakfast muffins or fruit salad that’s easy for children to grab when they wake up.
Childcare: Do you know a family who needs child care occasionally or regularly? This is a ministry you can provide in your own home. Maybe you know a mom with a new baby or a single mother who works to provide her sole income. Whether it’s temporary or long-term, it’s a blessing to know that someone trustworthy and caring is looking after your children. Even if you provide paid childcare, loving and protecting someone else’s children is a desperately needed ministry in today’s world.
Consider helping out just like in the meal situations above: can you take a family’s children for a day and give Mom a chance to rest or take care of unpleasant business? Maybe you can organize a group of friends to tag-team help for a family in a financial bind until they get on their feet.
Your children might even be the right age to play with these children, which adds a bonus for the whole family. But there is also an opportunity to show your children how to minister: if you have teens, encourage them to help entertain younger children with a game, a story, or some time outdoors. Thank them for being a part of your home ministry!
Counseling and encouragement: How easy and enjoyable is it to sit and talk with a friend when you didn’t even realize you needed the fellowship? This is so simple, yet for many ladies it is like a drink of cold water on a very hot day. Invite another mom and her children to your house for an afternoon of visiting, or get together at the local park. Be willing to ask if she has anything on her heart, or any prayer requests. Let God speak through your hospitality and your words.
Human fellowship is such a basic need. Christian fellowship is, too. Every mom with little children can provide this on their schedule and budget. Keep it simple and casual. Make a pot of coffee. Set out toys or games for the kids. Chat in the backyard while the children play. While it may seem simple or trivial to you, it can be life-changing for another family.
Words of encouragement: If you can’t find the time or space for meals, babysitting, or visiting, consider how easy it is to send a text message or a card in the mail. Just a simple, “I’ve been thinking about you and praying for you” lights up a person’s day! Answering that little tug of the heart and sending a quick message is often the very thing that will lift another person’s spirits in a challenging time.
Get your children involved by encouraging them to make handmade cards. This helps them to share their art skills (at any age!) and includes them in blessing others. Show them what you are doing, and how you are using encouraging words. Pray together for the card recipient. Again, teach your children the many avenues there are for ministering to others.
Prayer: This is a ministry that will bless everyone involved! The more you pray, the more you are eager to see God work. The more you pray, the closer you grow to God. Lifting up others in prayer is a very important ministry, and can happen at any time of day or night, wherever you are. Keep a prayer journal of your prayers and the answers. You will be blessed at the goodness of God!
Ask those you know if they need prayer. Follow up with them on their circumstances. And when appropriate, share these prayer requests with your family. We have enjoyed praying for people with our children and then sharing the answered prayers with them. This teaches them to look out for the needs of others, and it builds their faith in God!
Put Your Family First
This kind of statement seems extreme to many. It shouldn’t be, but it is. Our ministry to the world is often who we raise up and send into that world. Think of the mothers who raised Jim Elliot, Elisabeth Elliot, George Washington, John Wesley, William Bradford, John Bunyan, and every other world-changer you can think of. These were women who served faithfully in their homes, without recognition or title. They knew that motherhood is both work and ministry. And posterity has reaped the blessings.
It is not selfish or backward to be a mother first, and everything else second. God has blessed each of us with individual personalities, talents, and desires. He has made us to minister and to give. But when He created you as female with the amazing gift of childbearing, He gave you your first and most important ministry in the form of a tiny baby.
Embrace this calling, and ask God how you can be used within your home. And as time and circumstances permit, look to additional ministries from within your home. You will spend the time necessary to shepherd your own children while allowing them to join you in blessing others. It’s truly a win-win.