Questions and Answers (Winter 2025)
The following represents a select number of actual questions recently sent in to the ministry (lightly edited for brevity, clarity, and anonymity).
If you have a question you’d like to ask, feel free to send it in here: https://www.expositoryparenting.org/contact
Question: Hi! I loved your article on Titus 2 and Proverbs 31 today. I recently accepted a sales job in order to have the potential to get my wife out of a full time job ASAP. I keep seeing posts from other ministries as well encouraging families in this direction, but practical advice would be much appreciated and is missing from many such posts. What can a man do to make enough money these days to provide for his family in an era in which the poison of feminism has made that so hard? I am doing what I can think of, taking a job with the potential for higher earnings, tight budgets but I don’t know what to do from there. I thoroughly appreciate your ministry.
Answer: That is great to hear, my friend! Praise God for your faithfulness! It seems like what you're asking is more so general financial advice rather than biblical application, per se. What I mean by that is the advice you're looking for would apply to anyone—Christian or not—in our hyper-inflation economy we're facing. I only say that because our ministry isn't really geared toward giving financial advice. For a more comprehensive financial plan, I would suggest following Dave Ramsey's financial peace plan (note I have some significant theological disagreements with him, but his general financial advice is very good). With that said, though, read through these four articles we've put out and perhaps they’ll help with additional ideas:
https://www.expositoryparenting.org/blog/2022/9/27
https://www.expositoryparenting.org/blog/2022/3/14
https://www.expositoryparenting.org/blog/2022/4/11
https://www.expositoryparenting.org/blog/2022/11/3
Question: What is your stance on deliverance, in the name of Jesus, from evil oppression (but not possession) in a Christian, as in, an evil spirit of a sin someone struggles with.
Answer: So, first off, a true believer cannot be possessed by a demon. Christians are indwelt by the Spirit and are the temple of God, in which no unclean spirit could ever enter. So I do want to clarify that (which you implied agreement with in your question). Secondly, the difference between “possession” and “oppression” are slim, but in a sense I understand what you mean. In Scripture, possession usually leads to erratic behavior in a person (cf. Mark 5:5), perhaps exhibiting supernatural abilities (cf. Acts 19:16), and being given over to greater deception, etc. On the other hand, oppression usually results in a physical ailment. For example, in Luke 13:11, a woman is crippled by an evil spirit, in the book of Job he receives all kinds of sores on his body, and in 2 Corinthians 12:7 Paul suffers some kind of thorn from Satan that harmed him. So based on those kinds of accounts, there is a sense in which yes, Christians could be “oppressed” by Satan.
However, there are two important things to note regarding any type of demonic oppression. First, if you’re facing a physical ailment, you have no way of knowing whether it is of supernatural origin or whether it's just the natural reality of living in a fallen world and suffering. The ability to identify whether or not something is demonic activity was a sign gift given only in the first century, referred to as the “discerning of spirits.” So today, you would have no way of knowing. Read this article for an understanding of that: https://www.expositoryparenting.org/blog/2018/2/12
Second, because you have no way of knowing, the solution to any ailment you face should be the same whether it's supernatural or just natural: 1) Repent of your sins and believe in Christ (cf. 1 Cor. 11:30), 2) Pray and ask for the prayers of others about what you're facing (cf. Jas. 5:14), and 3) Pursue legitimate medical treatment to the best of your ability. Don’t neglect any of those in favor of the others. All three are important.
Question: How do you know if you're predestined to be saved? I’ve only learned of Calvinism since August. I've always believed and thought of myself as saved. Learning if calvinism has completely turned my world upside down
Answer: The way to know you've been predestined is by believing in Jesus and bearing fruit in your life. See 1 John 5:13.
Sometimes, people will say, "What if someone wants to be saved but they haven't been predestined?" There is no such person, because until God has changed your heart, you don't want to be saved, you don't want righteousness, you don't want Jesus; all you want is sin and rebellion. So those who have not been predestined will never wish they were; at best, their interest in the Gospel is feigned.
If you want to read my book on God's sovereignty over the atonement, you can find it here, might be very insightful for you: https://www.amazon.com/Greater-Than-Aaron-Supremacy-Atonement/dp/1793957479
Question: There was recently a vote at my church to elect a deaconess. I voted against, and I was not the only person to do so, particularly because her role was to oversee women’s events and children’s ministry. And I agree that those things need done, but I fail to see why she needs a title to do that. All of that to say, what say you in regards to a “deaconesses?”
Answer: I have three initial thoughts in response to your situation:
First, I’m of the conviction that a deaconess is a legitimate role in Scripture, as that of the female equivalent to a deacon. John MacArthur has a helpful article on that here: https://www.gty.org/library/articles/451020/answering-key-questions-about-deacons-. (Note: the only thing I’d differ with in the article, which is a minor difference, is that I wouldn’t refer to a deaconess as a “third” role in the church, but rather the female equivalent of the second role.)
Second, some people disagree that there is an actual role of “deaconess” (female deacon). And yet these same people have church secretaries and other non-biblical roles in their church. That’s just as problematic, if not more so, because there’s nothing in the Bible about a “church secretary,” meaning those holding the role of “secretary” aren’t explicitly held to the same standards outlined for deacons/deaconesses in Scripture. The reality is that a female church secretary is simply functioning as a deaconess. Therefore, churches should be using the title of “deaconess” rather than “secretary” for women helping in the church building full time, but unfortunately most treat the church like a business organization and adopt titles not found in the Bible.
Third, with those things said, what you’ve described happening in your church doesn’t appear to fit the typical role of a deaconess anyway. It sounds like you’ve had a female elected to an ecclesiastical teaching position, which is not found in Scripture. Let me be clear: females should be teaching other females (cf. Titus 2), and there’s nothing wrong with females teaching children either, so that's not the issue. The issue is, again, that there is nothing in the Bible to describe calling someone a deacon/deaconess who has been ordained to a teaching position. That would apply to men as well as women. If a man is ordained to a teaching role, he should not be called a deacon; he should be called an elder (and meet elder qualifications!). The reason is because virtually the only difference between an elder and a deacon is that the former is responsible for the teaching ministry in the church whereas the deacon is responsible for the serving ministry. So, yes, in your case I would say she should not be hired for a teaching role, first of all. And secondly, if women want to be hired for a serving role, that's fine, just make sure they’re called deaconesses, and meet the pertinent qualifications, as found in the Bible.
Question: I would love to homeschool but I live in Germany. We have the strictest schooling laws in the world, making it illegal. Authorities are asking quickly where the child is if he doesn't appear in school and even sending the police sometimes. There have been several court cases from Christian families that always ended up with the same result: no exceptions, also not for religious reasons. What would your advice be to me as a father who wants to shape my children's hearts for the Gospel and not the world?
Answer: Brother, thanks for following the ministry. Glad you're here! I'd love to hear more about your experience with German authorities, and what the educational system is like. To be honest with you, I would do everything in your power to give your kids a Christian education. So perhaps if there is a private Christian school, that might be an option. Otherwise, I would even go so far as to consider moving. It's “extreme,” I know. But you have to ask yourself this: why has God left you on this earth now that you're a Christian? Why not take you immediately to heaven? What did Christ tell His apostles to do? It's to make disciples, to fulfill the Great Commission. So you really need to do everything in your power to accomplish that, especially starting first and foremost with your own family. It would be a hard pill to swallow if your kids grew up and became secularists, if you knew it was in your power to give them a more Christian upbringing. Obviously God can and does save people no matter their upbringing, but He uses the faithfulness of His people to accomplish that. And on the other hand, if our kids were to wind up turning their backs on Christ, may it never be said that we somehow facilitated it by putting them under the extended influence of God-haters. So, I totally understand what a difficult situation you find yourself in. My recommendation would be to give serious thought as to what major life changes you can make to change your circumstances. In the meantime, at the very least, what you have to being doing today is teaching them the Bible verse by verse, as often as possible. Maximize the time you have with them, living every day as if it were your last.
Question: What advice would you give to leaders of a church with members who are illegal immigrants, particularly when they might feel unwanted due to other members praise for deportation of illegal immigrants?
Answer: First, let me say it’s a heartbreaking situation. Your situation is, unfortunately, not as uncommon as it should be, and I can only assume it may become more and more common. In terms of Scripture’s solution, let’s begin with the reality is that every believer is commanded to be subject to the authorities (Rom. 13), and we only have a right to disobey if the government demands that we sin, or if the government oversteps it’s ordained sphere of sovereignty (for example, trying to regulate—whether for better or for worse—a local church’s liturgy or format of their worship service). To that end, Scripture indicates that we are only blessed by God insofar as we suffer for Christ, not suffer as a criminal (1 Pet. 4). So an illegal immigrant, being one who has stepped outside the government’s proper regulation of the state, needs to get his life in conformity with the law if he wants to adorn the Gospel as a light in this world. Though he has a new life in Christ, the effects of his former sinful life can still be a burden he has to carry until corrected. This is no different than, for example, a prison inmate who comes to Christ but must still, of course, stay in prison until his sentence is completed. Being free from sin doesn’t mean being free from the statutes of civic government (see 1 Cor. 7:20-21).
In terms of the relationship with the local church, there is certainly a level of grace and compassion that should be extended to fellow believers. Pastoral care would dictate that we act with sympathy, not condemnation, toward any illegal immigrant who is a fellow believer. We should be clear that we want them in our lives and in our congregations, but we should also be clear that we want them to do so legally, not illegally. And a true believer who is growing in sanctification and maturity should likewise want to uphold the law of the land, even if it negatively impacts him. The Bible has much to say about the sin of partiality or unjust weights and measures, so an illegal immigrant should affirm the validity of the law even while knowing he must be subject to it. Imagine, for example, a murderer-turned-Christian who opposes laws against murder just because he knows the enacting of such laws would result in him spending the rest of his life in prison. It would be ridiculous. Every Christian should oppose murder even if the implications affect him personally. The same is true for any just law—which I would argue borders and national security are not only just, but the actual purpose of government according to Romans 13:1 and validated by Acts 17:26. So, at the end of the day, your local church must insist that its members be law-abiding citizens of just laws, which would include requiring them to go through the proper channels to be there legally.